Bloody Brilliant

Burmese Days

• An Orwellian nightmare is the state of Burma. Thanks to the invaluable work of a few dedicated human-rights groups, new reports keep trickling out of Burma every now and then. Firstly, about six-months ago we heard that the military government has moved the capital from Rangoon to a new location - the remote jungle town of Pyinmana. It is absurd and confusing. There could be a number of reasons; Burma is a country which places great store on superstition and the group of generals who run this country could well have shifted the seat of government on the advice of astrologers (trust me, I'm serious.) Burma was also high on the list of Condoleezza Rices' "Outposts of Tyranny" and so analysts speculate that the move is to "avoid a seaborne attack" from the USA. The junta - which spends 100 times more on the military than on health care - celebrated their move a couple of weeks ago with a full-on military parade. I wonder if any of the locals were invited?

• It goes on and on... last week we learned from a UN official that there has been an outbreak of "more than 100 cases of bird flu" in Burma. This is a country which seriously lacks the equipment and the facilities to deal with such a crisis and according to the FAO's Asia-Pacific representative, the international community have been asked to be on their guard with assistance. This is a country which refused Aid organizations entry when the Tsunami hit the Andaman Coast. Paranoid is the word which springs to mind. At the start of this year the UN's special envoy to Burma quit his post, sick and tired of the obstacles placed in his path by the military rulers. Razali Ismail resigned after being refused entry to Burma for nearly two years.

• And today... (laughably) the government of Burma has listed four exiled political groups as terrorist organizations. One of the groups, NLD-LA (National League for Democracy - Liberated Area) strongly deny any involvement with violence or terrorism, as do the other blacklisted organizations - The National Coalition Government of the Union of Burma, the Federation of Trade Unions and the All Burma Students Democratic Front. Of course, if the junta transfered power to the NLD in 1990 when they won the general election with a massive majority (82%), there wouldn't be the need for any of these people to be forced to live in exile. The present regime in Burma (headed by a group of deranged generals) is oppressive, brutal, cruel and secretive. But it sleeps well under the protective wing of China. Change will come - it is just a matter of time.

• Let's review the situation here. Burma is unquestionably ruled by fear. It is a country of around 50 million people. A military body of 500,000 soldiers denies these 50 million people their most basic rights. It is also responsible for the widespread use of forced labour, 1.5 million people forced from their lands, around 1300 political prisoners (many of whom are routinely tortured in the most horrific way), as many as 70,000 child soldiers - more than any other country in the world, and the use of rape as a weapon of war against ethnic women and children.

• Which big businesses line their pockets in Burma and subsequently support this regime? Let's see. Well surprise, surprise - Chevron, the US oil giant and confirmed Bush-buddies, are one of the joint venture partners developing the Yadana offshore gas field in Burma. It earns the military regime millions of dollars. Chevron also owns Texaco. The Cambrian Group, a British oil & gas services company operating in the UK, USA, and Asia. It provides support services to Daewoo in Burma, which is developing one of the largest gas fields in the country. DLH Timber - a Danish company, and Flatau Dick & Co, a British company. They sell timber all over the world. They sell Burmese teak. The Burmese regime owns all teak plantations in Burma and teak sales earn the regime millions of pounds every year. Robbins Timber in Bristol, Parker Kislingbury in Buckinghamshire, Morgan Timber in Kent, NHG Timber Ltd and Moss Timber in London also seem to know no boundaries when it comes to doing business with the junta. Mr. James Latham is another British timber importer based in Hemel Hempstead, and with depots across the UK. He sells approximately £50,000 of Burmese teak each year. Nice one, James! Lloyds of London, the insurers, seem to have come to their senses. Insurance of course is vital to companies which invest in Burma. They seem to have withdrawn their agent in Burma. You can read a full list of fat cats here.

• You can learn more about the Burmese cause here, here, here, here, here and here. Facts and figures can also be found here, here, here and here. Also here, here and here. More stuff can be found here, here, here, here and here. Oh, and here, here and here, too. Spread the word and raise some awareness. I'm a big believer that if change should happen in a society, it must come from within. In Burma their hands are tied. People who live in democracies where noise can be made have a duty to help. I know this sounds quite pompous but it must be said.

(Resources: Burma Campaign, ASEAN Inter-Parliamentary Myanmar Caucus, Amnesty International, the International Labour Organisation (ILO) and the BBC)

Weekend in Shanghai

Most Amused

"Although Britannia no longer rules the waves, the UK is still a major destination for many travellers..."

Kind of missing home. Had to share this; some excerpts from an online travel advice board given (I think by travellers) for England and the UK. Courtesy of Wikitravel.org.

It is debatable whether the natives actually have a fondness for debating the weather - but any discussion that does involve weather usually includes criticisms of it - including both that it's "too cold" and it's "too hot".

Unsurprisingly, most people in England speak English, though with a surprisingly wide variety of regional accents and dialects which can make it hard for even native speakers to understand somebody from another part of the country.

Few (indigenous) English people speak a second language fluently. Most younger people are taught second languages such as French, German and Spanish whilst they were at school and because of this they usually will be able have at least a rudimentary grasp of one of these languages. But be prepared to have to use English to make yourself understood.

Slang terms are also used widely by some Brits, which can further hamper efforts at understanding by foreigners. Some examples include "chav" referring to a rough or 'common' type of person with a liking for branded fashion items (e.g. heavy gold chain, sports clothes.)

Certainly only the minority of visitors will come here for the famous food.

Do not sit at a table in a pub expecting a waiter to take your order as you will be rather disappointed.

The stereotype made by Jacques Chirac, saying that British food is the second worst in the world after Finland does stand out in some eating outlets.

Never talk with your mouth full, this is the cardinal sin of dining.

Eating a curry or balti in an Indian or Pakistani restaurant is tantamount to an English obsession.

Some think that Britons tend to drink alcohol mainly in the evening, during the day they are sustained by tea and coffee.

Getting drunk is acceptable and often it is the objective of a party.

(Getting drunk) applies to all levels of the British society - it may be worth remembering that the Prime Minister, Tony Blair, had to collect his son Euan from a police station after he had been found drunk celebrating the completion of his GCSE exams (taken at the age of 16). Nevertheless, Britons have a great sense of humour and everything is forgotten after a hangover, at least until the next time.

Public nudity is very rare and while not strictly a criminal offense, you can be prosecuted if thought to be with the intention of shocking people.

Sex in public places is illegal, although it's not uncommon in some public parks at night or known "lovers lanes".

In the UK , in certain situations, it is still considered taboo for women to sunbathe topless (probably because there are so few days a year when it is warm enough to do so, thus a sight to which people are not accustomed!)

The most common greeting you'll receive from a Briton is the handshake. There are some very important rules to follow when giving or receiving a handshake: do not grip too firmly as this may be seen as a sign of aggression, but equally do not offer up a limp hand.

Never shake hands whilst wearing gloves or with your other hand in your pocket. It is very important to stand up when giving or receiving a handshake. If it is not entirely practical to do so, such as in a restaurant, a cursory lean forwards will probably suffice.

Except between very close relatives, men will never kiss as a greeting, but a reasonably aggressive hug and back-slapping may happen.

Holding doors (and countryside gates) open for people coming in the opposite direction or from behind is expected, though of course if they are nearer, they will open the door for you! If this happens then a "thank you" or "cheers" is an appropriate response.

It is said that the English invented queueing, and they become very annoyed if anyone jumps the line - although being reserved, some will do nothing more than glare and mutter under their breath.

It is usually not common practice to speak to people you don't know other than to ask for help and asking someone what they're doing generally is taken as offensive.